Sunday, May 30, 2010

How Much Time?????

I had a discussion with someone the other day regarding how much time this person spends talking to their spouse. Although the person I was speaking to has the incredible bad luck of being 1,000 miles away from their spouse, I was shocked to find out that they spend up to 8 hours a day on weekends on the phone.


I started wondering about this, and tried to figure out how much time I spend talking to my husband on any given day. When he is on the boat for a week, we talk maybe 30 minutes a day, and usually not in one clip. It's spread out over many short conversations, interspersed with text messages. When he is home, we talk more of course, but I can't come up with a time estimate. We spend time together because we love each other and enjoy each other's company, but I never thought about how much we actually engage in conversation. I began to think maybe we were unusual, that we were not talking enough or maybe we were just too familiar with each other and conversation was missing somehow.

I wonder though, if perhaps we are not oddballs by thinking that sometimes words are not necessary. We have a heart and spirit connection, and sometimes we can communicate with a glace or a smile that says more than a novel full of words ever could. Sometimes the silence speaks for itself. When I lay down next to my husband and rest my head on his chest, his heartbeat speaks to me in a language all it's own. It's a private language, shared by just us.

I'm not saying there is a right amount or wrong amount of time a couple should spend in conversation. I think that as relationships grow and change it varies greatly in each season. What works for some may not work for everyone. It just made me think.

So what about you? How much time would you estimate you actually spend talking to your spouse or significant other? What would you say is an average time of chatter for other couples you know?


Stephanie Napier said...

well girl you know when Keith was trucking we talked ALL the time from the tiome we woke up til the time we went to bed. Now with me working he calls me about twice a day to let me know the kids are safe at school and then again to tell me they are safe from school. I kinda miss chatting with him all the time... (Sometimes) :-)

Cecile said...

I have never thought about it but I think Jeff and I talk a good bit during the day because I am forever calling him during the day for some reason or another and we always (all 3 of us) have dinner together at the dining roon table and we all chat about our day...hhhhmmm...interesting post girlie:)

Dapoppins said...



well now that is interesting. I never thought about it either. We talk in bursts, mostly when one of us is in the mood. My husband is a detail guy, me, and I don't have much patients for detail, but every now and then we have a good conversation...but not for 8 hours.

is that wrong? Will that sabotage my marriage?

We all eat dinner together, but mostly the four kids take turns trying to tell one story, and we listen...unless something interesting happens...


I'm worried now.