Saturday, November 27, 2010

What Do You Do?


What do you do when one of your longtime and closest friends is diagnosed with Leukemia? I can tell you what I did. I cried. I got mad. Then I cried some more. I know it sounds silly, but that is what I did and I did a LOT of it and repeated the cycle several times.

I knew she was not feeling well, but when she went in to the hospital ER I thought it was cellulitis in her legs causing all the problems. Then she messaged me, saying her bloodwork was off and they were admitting her. Her white count was significantly elevated, leading me to think she had a very bad infection in her legs.

Then I got a text from her.
It was two words staring back at me from my phone screen.

It's leukemia.

I was shocked. How does this happen? She is healthy, strong, 35, a wife, a mother to two kids, a friend to many. She is active in our church and works full time. She just lost her mom to cancer 2 months ago. Her husband got hurt and was out of work for months, and she lost her job as well. They were both blessed with new jobs and were getting back on track with everything when BAM!

It's leukemia.

So now she is in the hospital, facing a month of intensive, continuous chemo treatments. Her world is upside down, and so is the world of so many who love her and are affected by this, only in a different way. I feel so helpless, and so angry. I like to compartmentalize things and sort them out into where they go, sort of a mental filing system. That is how I deal with things. This has no place to go. This has no compartment or file. It is so much emotion and so many questions all rolled up into two words.

It's leukemia.

And it really, really sucks.

9 comments:

The Garner's said...

saying many many prayers for you and your friend and her family....

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear this. Your reaction would have been mine. My heart would be on the floor somewhere and I would be on my all fours looking for it.
She is going to need your strength when you muster it up.......
The only positive thing that will come of this is your faith will grow. I will be praying for you. This will be a trial of faith for all.
But please be mindful that NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is impossible. Jesus took (little letter) leukemia to the cross.
Be encouraged.

Kathy said...

I know how you feel. I have tried to sort this out in my mind as well, and seems to be no where to sort it to. I am worried about her as well, but the kids are always on my mind. What will happen to them during this time, are they ok, is the ex going to find out and try to make things worse??? It is such a devastating thing to so many people at this time. What is her husband going to do? How is he going to manage? How can her mom and aunt go through all of this over and over again. The loss of her mom, and the aunt and the loss of her in law? So many unanswered questions and no answers in sight!!

lillinda said...

Praying for your friend and her family. Some words are hard for us to hear, but God already knew she had it and He knows just what needs to be done.

Cecile said...

Michelle, I will keep your friend and her family and you in my prayers..My aunt has Leukemia and has fought it for many years in and out of remission so I know it is not always a death sentence but it is a terrible thing to watch someone you love go through..Big HUGS!!!!!

Debbie said...

I know this has devastated all of you and my thoughts are prayers are with her and her family during this time. She will stay in my prayers along with her family and of course you and yours. I love you, my dear sister, and I hope things get better for her. Tell her I am praying for her.

Deborah said...

Prayers for you and your friend ♥

Anonymous said...

I wish I had some great answer or some encouraged word to say but I don't. For once I am at a loss! My heart is out there for her too! You are such a good friend, Michelle and you have a BIG heart. God has placed you in her life for a reason and I know that your love will help her right now. Somehow,some way, God will come through! He always does. In the mean time while we wait, rejoice because there is a plan in it for everyone involved. This we know is true and our hope is on the Lord! Give her a special hug for me. Do you have the number where she can be reached and I will call her. Thanks for sharing your beautiful heart and your gift with us- Love you! I am blessed to know you.:)

Stephanie Napier said...

Hey Girly! I love you and treasure our friendship to the max! You inspire me and I cant thank you enough for being my friend!
I just stopped long enough to catch up on your blog and I will say this.. I KNOW I am HEALED! The Dr's just dont realize it yet.. This has happened to me for a reason and I feel the reason is to let my family (especially the unsaved ones) how much faith I do have and how BIG my God is. and My prayer is that they will all see this in me and come running (well i will take crawling) to the foot of the cross. and yes you are right Leukemia SUCKS!
Love ya!!!
Steph